Better Days

-TQ

Well yesterday wasn't too great. I managed to finally get a good night's sleep, but had to get up earlier than I would have liked because Hame wanted me to come along and watch Murat play soccer and then we were going to get me some steel cap boots for work. The shop that sells them was closed so we didn't. So that was a bust.

The whole Shashi ignoring me thing still went on, until later in the day when she called to let me know Steggles' car got broken into and my old PC tower got stolen. The only thing in there that I really cared about getting was the harddrive, and right now I feel pretty stupid for not just taking out the harddrive when I left and bringing it with me. All the programs and music and other stuff on there can be replaced, but there were a lot of things that can't. Old chat logs is what I wanted from it, but they're gone now. Maybe old photos, too, but hopefully I moved them to my external and didn't leave anything behind. It's scary to think that maybe some of my personal information or photos or something might still be on there. I can't do anything about it though, since it's out of my hands =/

She called me again not long after to let me know they were going to swing by and give me my stuff. I thought maybe that meant we'd hang out at least for a little while. That wasn't the case. She just came, gave me a hug, gave me my stuff, and left. My dad wasn't home so I thought she'd at least want to say to my mum and sister, and it was my niece's birthday, but she didn't want to come in at all. Who knows if she's even going to want to spend a day with me while she's down. I start work tomorrow so the only time I'd be free would be next weekend. At least she's having fun, I guess. There's nothing I can really do if she doesn't want to see me, and ignores me. She must have her reasons, but I don't know what they are. I wonder if I should still look forward to spending a day with her, only because she promised she would before I left. We'll see.

Following that shitty moment of my day, I spent a while moping around on the PC as per usual. Later on I ended up going out with Andreya to Maccas and Krispy Kreme where we ate little burgers and shared some chips before getting a coffee and donut each. Good times! It was nice to just spend a couple hours or whatever hanging out and talking about stuff. I'm hoping I'll get a chance to see the guys some time soon as well, because I haven't yet! Rob, Minh, John, Bang, all working. Everyone's busy.

So that concluded the night. She dropped me off at home around midnight where I then proceeded to chug down another can of Coke (after a Coke at Maccas and a coffee at KK's) before heading off to bed. It'll be nice if I get to hang out with Andreya and my other friends often while I'm down. I also saw Shinal at K-Mart and said hi, so I think I'll have to go there again and see if I can get her number so we can arrange to hang out when we have the time!

Fun Fact: Shinal and I have known each other since we were 7! We were in the same class every years at primary school, and in most of the same classes at high school!

It's really surreal to be back home. To have all my stuff here in my room, a room that hasn't really been mine for almost 3 years. It's not like all the other times where I have a bag or suitcase of stuff. It's not like I'm only going to be here for 3-7 days before I head back up to QLD. All my shit is here now, I'm going to be here for a long time, and I know I've said before that the reality really sunk in when Shashi told me she wanted me gone, but... I think that it's only really started to sink in just now. Andreya and I went to the same Maccas that Rob and Minh took me to last time I was down, and I spent a lot of the time just staring outside and just thinking about how last time it was just 3 days and I was gone. Now I'm here for 6 months, maybe more, maybe less, and I don't really know what to do with myself. I know now I have a job, and I'm close to all my friends and family again. It's nice to be around the people I love, and that love me. There's just a piece missing. A part of me that feels empty now.

It's not something that I can just fill up with family, friends, or money. There's just nothing I can do about it.